Never put a sock in a toaster.
I just believe in the goodwill of people, the power of people to do something positive.
Religion and philosophy, philosophy and religion - they're two words which are both... different. In spelling.
In stand-up it really helps to play yourself and talk about your own feelings. You cannot fail to be original if you're just talking about what you think about X, Y and Z. Unless you've got a twin brother who's also a stand-up.
If you've never seen an elephant ski, you've never been on acid.
I use a Bruce Lee technique: 'The way of no way.' He had the idea that he would learn everything, so that whoever he had to fight, he could improvise anything. The best way of starting a gig is just to not think of anything - to clear your mind, not in an empty Zen state, but more just to go on and see where you go.