I don't like to be out of my comfort zone, which is about a half an inch wide.
No, I am a crier and if people ever saw me privately they would be shocked at what a bowl of mush I am underneath it all.
Well, I always think the worst things are going to happen here, because I'm - basically inside, I'm a bad person, and so the bad kind of takes over.
Golf and dating don't mix.
Trying on pants is one of the most humiliating things a man can suffer that doesn't involve a woman.
Woody Allen likes to do a lot of master shots. He likes to get the whole thing in one take, and so you could be going along doing a scene, and then the next to last line, all of a sudden, you stumble, and you have to go back to first base.
I couldn't be happier that President Bush has stood up for having served in the National Guard, because I can finally put an end to all those who questioned my motives for enlisting in the Army Reserve at the height of the Vietnam War.
I guess I still feel that I'm a comedian; if I had to pick one thing that I feel like I could do, it would be that. That doesn't mean that I like it, but I feel that's what I am.
Well, as you know, I'm really only happy when I'm on stage.
There are times when I'm driving home after a day's shooting, thinking to myself, That scene would've been so much better if I had written it out.
The only change I can really see is that I don't have to shop for pants in stores anymore.
Most practical jokes, I'll feel too bad for the other person so I'll stop just before the punchline.
Most people think I'm immodest.
Millions of people are married. I've never picked up a paper and seen a headline that says, Man Gets Married!
If I was going onstage, of course I would talk about it. How could I not?